These are the hidden cries of vulnerability that underlie the distress experienced in most adult love relationships. They often come in the form of an angry protest such as, "Why didn't you complete the list on the refrigerator? Or, as in a withdrawn defeat, "I give up, since I can never please my partner."
As Dr. Susan Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight, and the developer of Emotionally Focused Couple's Therapy (EFT) says, "Nothing can bring two enemies together than a common enemy!" You can discover the "negative pattern" in your relationship and name it the enemy and then join with your partner to fight against the negative cycle that takes over your relationship...only to leave you both alone and hurting.
The empirically validated EFT has shown that 7 out of 10 couples transform their dysfunctional pattern and 9 out of 10 couples significantly improve. This is possible due to the highly experiential nature of the EFT therapy process which is designed to access and utilize emotions to affect change. It is now understood that emotionally corrective experiences are integral to deep change; and that the same mechanisms in the brain which were open to being shaped by experience in early childhood are still open to being shaped throughout the lifespan. This occurs through mindful experience...a cornerstone tool in EFT.
Neuroscience also validates that our early childhood attachments impact the quality of our adult relationships as well as our ability to parent our children. Using tools such as mindfulness and other mind body interventions we can become more aware and make sense of our past. Increasing our awareness can expand our ability to choose how we wish to respond to our partners or children rather than be driven by over-reactions that impair the quality of our close relationships.
With warmth and compassion, Aida approaches couples, individuals and parents with an attachment theory perspective and uses experiential mind/body interventions to help heal unresolved relational wounds. When the bonds between our loved ones become more secure, we thrive as individuals. We become more resiliant to stress, we can balance our emotions better and tend to foster more nurturing relationships which in turn further healthy growth between loved ones.
Secure Attachment is the gift that keeps on giving!
Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, #51176
Are you there for me?
Do I matter to you?
Will you come to me when I call?
Will you be there when I reach out to you?